Motivating Kids: Myths & Truths #5

29 04 2010

This is the last of our 5-part series on Motivation Myths:

Motivational Myth #1: Kids need to be motivated. (See 4/7/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #2: Rewards are what motivate kids. (See 4/8/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #3: Lectures motivate kids. (See 4/14/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #4: Hype motivates kids. (See 4/26/10 blog entry)

Motivation Myth #5: Simply suck it up!

This is the last of our five motivation myths. The fifth myth is that motivation is a requirement for success. Although, many would probably argue with me on this one I believe motivation is not required. In many ways one of the important skills of life is knowing how to dig deep when motivation supplies are low. Very few people would say that they have an abundance of motivation. Most of us have to develop strong skills in discipline as well as strength of mind to overcome our propensity to stay comfortable and lazy.

How a person manages their responsibilities when their motivation source appears dry maybe says more about a person then when the motivation is abundant. With that I offer these basic tips for when your motivational energy is depleted.

  1. Break responsibilities into small pieces.  The thought of biting off the whole task can be overwhelming, but often, if one smaller step can be taken a new surge of energy is experienced.
  2. Keep your thinking in the here and now. When you are tired it is not uncommon for thinking to be loose and undisciplined. When this happens everything can easily take on a dark and pessimistic tint.
  3. Wherever you are, be there. Many people have a difficult time taking breaks because of the sheer number of things on their plate. My advice to you is when you are involved in family time, or a pleasurable hobby, be fully present in it so you can be fully present in the task when you get back to it.

Sometimes, you simply have to persevere through difficult times. You have to use the power of your mind and will to act in responsible ways and do the uncomfortable things it takes to accomplish your goals. We, unfortunately, are living in a time where we have become slaves to comfort and make all sorts of excuses for acting in non-responsible ways. Next time you are facing a moment where you need to do something and do not want to, remember you don’t always have to want to do something for it to be productive.

Living in the here and now,
Shaun


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Motivating Kids: Myths & Truths #4

26 04 2010

This is the forth of a 5-part series on Motivation Myths:

Motivational Myth #1: Kids need to be motivated. (See 4/7/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #2: Rewards are what motivate kids. (See 4/8/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #3: Lectures motivate kids. (See 4/14/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #4: Hype motivates kids.

Motivation Myth number 4 is the hype myth. The more work I do with teams and coaches the more I realize that we have bought into the idea that we need to get our kids pumped, hyped, and excited. We hear inspirational speeches, pre-game talks in an attempt to get everybody psyched up. The beverage companies have also bought into this with the rise in the sheer numbers of “Energy Drinks” that have come on the market. We need to be careful not to buy into the idea that more hype, intensity, and energy is best for everybody.  Rarely, do you see people who execute excellently under pressure overly hyped or excited in the moment.

On each team there will be a percentage of players that need to relax because they are too intense. Their abundance of intensity often creates a lack of awareness leaving them virtually blind to the more detailed aspects of the game. These players work hard but often move right past the opportunity to score, or finish a play.  Coaches often refer to these types of players as ones that are in constant motion without much impact on the game. Being able to create a consistent level of intensity leading to the ability to pounce on opportunities as they reveal themselves is what leads not only to success but consistent play based on the learning that is acquired through practice and experience.  Certainly, there are players that require jolt of energy. These players often appear almost to relaxed. For some it may take an entire first part of the game to finally find their flow. This type of player usually needs to engage their mind in something clear and attainable. It isn’t hype or excitement needed; it is a clearly defined goal that can be self-monitored.

Helping our athletes utilize useful energy that results from a clearly communicated set of expectations with regular personalized feedback provides the necessary self-motivation that can be sustained over time. Creating hype and over excited athletes does nothing but distract them and leads them to perform in inconsistent and impulsive ways.


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Categories : Academics, Athlete, Coach, Manage Adversity, Mental Toughness, Motivation, Parent, School, Sports Psychology

Fresh Food Not French Fries!

16 04 2010

We’ve joined the Food Revolution and you should too! We need your help to change the way America eats. Every child in America has the right to fresh, nutritious school meals, and every family deserves real, honest, wholesome food. Sign the petition to save America’s cooking skills and improve school food. http://bit.ly/JOfoodrev

Thanks and please pass this message on.


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Motivating Kids: Myths & Truths #3

14 04 2010

There is no doubt that we are living in a time where many of our young people have become overly dependent on the prompts, punishments, and promises of others in their lives. In an attempt to get this to change, parents, coaches and teachers have tried many things to “motivate” young people.

This is the third of a 5-part series on Motivation Myths:

Motivational Myth #1: Kids need to be motivated. (See 4/7/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #2: Rewards are what motivate kids. (See 4/8/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #3: Lectures motivate kids.

Today I want to talk about the Lecture Myth. It seems that those of us trying to create more energy, passion, or drive in our kids believe that our words are so profoundly inspiring that simply stating them with a bit of passion behind them is suddenly going to turn on the light bulb of drive for our kids. This is not only a myth, but it is utter ignorance. What has led us to believe that our lectures could possibly be that full of impact? Maybe we revert to this because it is the only tool we have available to us. If so, then it makes sense why we engage in this act of desperation. When we use a lecture, that in reality is one-way communication, we cut off the most important information source (that being the kid) because the communication is only one way.

In order to create any change it is going to begin with the cooperation, will, and enlightenment of the kid needing to make the change. We miss that when we believe we are the providers of the motivation because of our perceived words of wisdom. Our kids would have a revival of energy, drive, passion, and motivation if we would simply talk WITH them and not AT them. If the only tool for motivation you have is to lecture…it is time to add to the toolbox. You will be absolutely shocked what you learn if you approach problems of motivation with curiosity as opposed to certainty.

No more lectures…get out of judgment/certainty and into curiosity!

Keep an eye out for Motivation Myth #4!

Shaun


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Motivating Kids: Myths & Truths #2

8 04 2010

Shaun Goodsell, MA

We have an energy crisis in our society. This energy crisis is taking place with our teenagers.  The myths we have bought into concerning motivation discourage us from making a difference in turning this crisis around.

Motivational Myth #1: Kids need to be motivated. (see 4/7/10 blog entry)

Motivational Myth #2: Rewards are what motivate kids. The truth is many of the rewards we use to “bargain” with our kids are often responsible for training kids to be unmotivated.

When we offer money, privilege, and other external rewards in the hopes of bargaining with kids for them to care and exert energy towards a task, we actually train them to anticipate a reward of greater significance each time they do the same task.  This dynamic mirrors that of a person dealing with addiction. An addict needs a more intense “high” with each experience and chases that “high” as the primary goal within each experience or they don’t chase it. When kids have been virtually bribed to care about things or exert energy towards something we are systematically training kids to expect a greater and greater reward and thus a more intense “high”. The consequences of this are thousands of kids have become addicted to rewards instead of developing the intrinsic motivation that is vital to long-term sustained motivation that is independent of external rewards. The skills that an individual needs to pursue the vital aspects of their life are what many kids are lacking. The more we take the short cut and bribe kids with cars, money, trophies, etc., the more we set kids up to fail later in life.

After the Myths have been identified I will create a 5 part training series on Unleashing The Power of Personal Motivation.

Keep an eye out for Motivational Myth #3!

Best to you today!

Shaun


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Categories : Academics, Athlete, Coach, Confidence, Mental Toughness, Motivation, Parent, School, Sports Psychology, Student

Motivating Kids: Myths & Truths

7 04 2010

Shaun Goodsell, MA

One challenge that many parents, coaches, and teachers can all relate to is how to motivate kids. Over the last couple of years it appears that more and more kids seem to lack passion, energy, interest, and concern about their lives. It is not uncommon for parents to continually fight with their kids over doing homework, coaches consistently look for tricks on how to put a fire into their athletes lacking engagement, and teachers struggle to acquire and maintain the interest of kids.

This problem continues because we lack understanding about what is sucking the natural energy out of our kids.  I propose there are 5 motivation-reducing behaviors supported by 5 myths of motivation. For our purposes I will take them one at a time.

Motivation Myth #1:  Kids need somebody to motivate them.

Although there are many reasons for us to believe that without us kids would do nothing. This is actually part of the reason why some kids show a lack of motivation. They have become dependent on us to provide direction, promptings, and interest before they engage themselves.  I think many kids believe that they are living to please us and have organized their lives as such. The problem is that they are not living THEIR life. They have exchanged their life for our acceptance and approval. The result of this is a lack of intrigue with what they could do and become motivated by their own self-directed energy. They may not do what we think they should do or the way we think they should do it but the important point is that THEY are providing the energy and spark, which puts them in the driver seat. Overcoming our compulsion to be in charge of others’ lives may actually unleash a burst of energy that we never saw before. At any rate, helping kids take on the responsibility of directing their own life is one of the critical components of turning around the motivation crisis that many of our kids are experiencing.

Tune in tomorrow for Motivation Myth number 2!

See ya tomorrow!

Shaun


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Is Anybody Listening?

6 04 2010

Shaun Goodsell, MA

A student came to school with a gun today. When asked what motivated this action the student gave indication that he was being bullied, picked on, and so he responded by bringing a gun to “send a scare” into those that had picked on him. The Principle responded by saying; “I wasn’t aware of this student experiencing bullying”. Isn’t this the problem?  Adults leading within communities of kids are blind. We are missing the subtle cues giving valuable information concerning the health of the student community. WE CANNOT AFFORD TO BE MISSING THE CUES STUDENTS SEND.  We are good at bringing in drug sniffing dogs to determine the presence of drugs in our schools and I am thankful for this. However, we need to take intentional action that leads to reliable and valid information concerning the quality of relational functioning within our schools and other places students gather in groups. Many of our kids are crying out for help with behaviors, attitudes, and outrage that we need to start paying attention to.  While being interviewed on WCCO radio about two weeks ago I was asked if I thought bullying had been reduced. I responded by saying; “Not in my opinion”. I cannot help but be saddened by the emotional turmoil that had gone on in this young man’s life. The day in and day out abuse that went unnoticed, unchecked, and certainly not dealt with. More and more kids are going to take matters into their own hands if the adults that are supposed to be protecting not only their bodies, but also their hearts, don’t take drastic action to PAY ATTENTION and protect those that are being emotionally battered right under our nose.

We can theorize and philosophize all the reasons why kids bully each other but right now this needs to STOP or we will see many more kids lash out in violent ways representing the deep anger they feel for being rejected from the peer group that should embrace and provide support, encouragement, and emotional safety. Certainly, this young man that brought a loaded gun to school should receive significant consequences for his misguided actions. However, if we don’t wake up we are missing the opportunity to learn from this young man and avoid future loss of life. Our kids are screaming for help. Is anybody listening?


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