First, have Realistic Expectations. Young athletes hurt their own performance as well as their teams when they think that everything they try should work, or they shouldn’t have to deal with things that go the other teams way. I have found that the more unrealistic the expectations the more intense the frustration. Having unrealistic expectations sets us up to be unprepared for what is most likely to occur therefore, putting us at a disadvantage when events unfold that are out of alignment with what we thought would happen.

Second, Focus on Actions Rather than Results. In pressure filled situations it becomes very difficult to remain poised and emotionally stable. When our bodies become overwhelmed with anxiety and adrenaline our judgment may become compromised and we become prone to outbursts of frustration and anger sometimes resulting in taking a penalty, committing an untimely foul, or simply performing tentatively resulting in less then excellent performance. This is heightened when we become over focused on results rather then the actions that are required to earn the results that lead to victories and excellent performance.

Third, Exhibit Emotional Flexibility. Playoff time is filled with ups and downs. There are moments of great excitement as well as great despair. Because of these paradoxical moments athletes are forced to deal with these ups and downs with poise and with grace. Doing this requires the capacity to be flexible and not allowing one’s emotions to get too high or too low. A phrase I have used for years to summarize this principle is “Never too high, never too low”.

Playoffs test our mental, physical and emotional preparedness. With the tips above, the uncertainty and pressure of playoff time can be an opportunity to shine and reveal your Mental Edge on your competition.

Best to you this playoff season!

To find out more about this topic and to schedule a private consultation, please call 763.439.5246.

Shaun Goodsell
President and CEO
Mental Edge

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1. Is confidence a critical factor in how someone performs?
Although confidence plays a part in impacting how an athlete performs, what is more critical is how masterful an athlete has become concerning the foundational skills of the sport they play. What is true is that an athlete develops a great deal of confidence based on how effective they feel they have been at developing and mastering skills that allow them to compete with those they play against. If an athlete hasn’t invested the time, energy, and dedication to practicing the skills needed to experience success then confidence should not be a “right”.  Therefore, what is important to performance has more to do more with skill development than confidence.

2. When my son/daughter seems to lack confidence is the antidote encouragement?
The answer to this is maybe. I believe we have become a culture (especially with our kids) that believes the answer for every problem is encouragement. Certainly our kids need optimistic, positive people in their life, however, they also need “truth tellers” that are able to communicate truthful statements in optimistic and positive ways to help them build a healthy self perception built on better “truth”. Telling an athlete they played well when they didn’t does nothing to build their confidence, in fact, it confirms in the mind of many that adults just tell kids things to make them feel better. This actually erodes the possibility of confidence because of the credibility that is lost.

The last question is: What helps to grow self-confidence?
I want to start by saying that confidence can be compartmentalized into different life interests. For example, I can be confident in my ability to understand a persons emotional pain and have zero confidence in my ability to build shelves for my garage. My lack of confidence in building doesn’t compromise my overall confidence as a person it simply means I have not developed the skills associated with building shelves. With this example as a guide I believe the inner belief in oneself that we label as confidence is created, grown, and developed when we invest time, energy, interest, and genetic cooperation to develop what it takes to perform effectively in competitive situations. Because of this, I believe developing true confidence is, in reality, within all of our control. I hope the clarification around this often-used topic is helpful.

Shaun Goodsell
President and CEO, Mental Edge

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However, I have come to believe that the answer may not be as complicated as I first thought.  Maybe many act like they don’t care because they don’t care! The more I talk to young people the more they tell me they can’t see the connection between school and sports performance and their future. Not only is this blurry but much of the material they are learning in school is not only irrelevant to them but often presented in a manner that does more to put them to sleep then to engage them in a pursuit of ongoing curiosity leading to enhanced living. I often wonder if there is some virtue in choosing disengagement, which is a form of rebellion, to compliance simply for the sake of doing what you’re supposed to.  Where has that lead most of us?

For many this formula has lead to living an uninspired life stuck in jobs that we hate, marriages that are shallow and lifeless, and a life that is to be survived rather then savored. The survival strategies include but are not limited to alcohol abuse, food abuse, over spending, Internet addictions, and simply engaging in activity for the sake of distracting ourselves to avoid the realization that we are simply existing and not truly living. Sometimes, this internal dissatisfaction leads us to focus energy towards over controlling our kids telling them “we want them to avoid the pain that we currently live with by helping them see a better way”.

Inspiration and engagement comes by seeing and experiencing, not by words that are often hypocritical. If we truly want to SHAKE UP our kids maybe the way to do this is to begin to take pride in our own lives. Maybe if we cultivated an appetite for better living by challenging ourselves and those around us to overcome their fears of inadequacy, and heal from the disappointments of their lives, maybe our example would DRAW and ATTRACT those around us to become curious about the new found passion, inspiration, and courage that has now become an authentic expression of our everyday lives.

I believe that our kids are screaming for meaning, purpose, and inspiration. There is a hunger for examples that are credible because of the life they live not the rhetoric they spew to authentically lead our young people to engage in life in a new manner. Maybe our kids act like they don’t care because they don’t care. Why should they?

What do you think?  Please let us know with your comments below!

First, basic relationship skills are not being taught. There is more emphasis on teaching people about Math and Science than the skills of conflict resolution and interpersonal communication. Many run to their social networking sight to learn about someone else rather then be face to face and allow curiosity to take over. Often, on these sights as well as cell phones, people can tear someone down because they can’t see the pain created in their eyes.

Second, many adult relationships seem to contain the toxic chemicals of greed, judgment, gossip, and shallowness. It seems as though many adults require an activity to distract them while they are with each other: a game, a party, or alcohol. These provide the reason to get together and therefore, people are in the same room without any ability to truly be fascinated by the wonder of those around them. Having fun has become the addiction rather than the thrill of a deeply satisfying conversation that can ignite the joy of a person in a moment.

Third, it seems as though many are preoccupied with themselves while those around them sit waiting for quality interaction. It is my belief that we can show courage by over coming fear in many areas, however, it appears we are still deathly afraid of vulnerability and being “known”.

It is time we stop focusing on symptoms that only point out to us there is a problem. Certainly bullying, gossip, cliques, and violence are problems. However, they should force us to take a good look at ourselves and how we live. Are we cultivating deep relationships with our spouses, kids, friends and other important people? Do those around us feel as though we are approachable?  Unless we stop accepting meaningless interactions as normal and start holding ourselves to being examples to people around us, especially young people, of deeply engaging relationships grounded in non-judgmental unconditional love, we will continue to reap the results of disconnection. The results are often deadly.

Please make a commitment today to move towards those in your life. Do the work of forgiveness and reconcile with people that have wronged you, if possible, and pursue relationships that have the power to transform those around you. You just might be transformed yourself!

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Shaun Goodsell/ Mental Edge Founder

Around the upper Midwest, this week marks a new season of fall sports.  Thousands of young athletes will put themselves in positions to be impacted by coaches. Coaches will utter thousands of messages in hopes of shaping, adjusting, and inspiring those they coach. What makes a coaching message productive? What coaching message leads to better performance? I ask these question because I believe most of what is spoken to young people resembles noise more than effective communication.

For messages to be helpful they need to be free of anything that could interfere with the meaning and desired focus of the message. Noise distorts, confuses, changes, and interferes with clear communication and literally inhibits the athlete from developing and moving forward. It is possible when communication is “noisy” the presence of a coach is more inhibiting than helpful. To make this sort of claim requires some explanation:

Elements of productive coaching messages:

1. Concise: Spoken in less than 20 seconds
2. Clear: Stated with clear language and engaging emotion
3. Constructive: Provides the athlete with an adjustment leading to greater mastery of skill

When a coach seeks to guide an athlete to greater mastery it is important to make clear, concise, constructive comments that lead the athlete to successfully execute the mental and physical connections leading to success. The most effective coaches have been studied and it has been revealed that they clearly state concise messages providing the athlete with detailed input on small adjustments required; leading the athlete to make small consistent adjustments which are associated with maximized skill development.

When coaches use clichés that are wordy, demeaning, and confusing “NOISE” is at it’s highest and these messages serve to slow down, if not stop, learning.  These type of messages not only  inhibit performance but a decrease overall experience.

Let’s challenge ourselves to be clear, concise, and constructive in our communication. Champions are made from this type of communication.

We’d love to hear your comments and thoughts below.  If you are a coach and have a question please feel free to ask below and we’ll answer as many as we can.

Shaun

Would love to hear your comments and I’ll personally respond to as many as possible.

Shaun

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We’d love to hear what you think, please comment and we’ll respond personally to as many as we can.

Shaun Goodsell/Mental Edge

Shawn Myska/Explosive Edge Athletics

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