Fear of Failure vs. Mentally Strong and Confident

20 03 2017

As a parent I have never really feared my kids physical abilities and skills to compete in the sports they have been in. My greatest fears have centered around their mental skills.

It is their failure that I fear.

I often wonder what will happen to their self esteem, confidence and overall well being if they fail. In an attempt to avoid having to see this outcome I have OVER USED encouragement and pep talks to do anything I can to PROTECT THEM from the possible fallout of experiencing failure.

It never occurred to me that FAILURE, STRUGGLE and DISCOURAGEMENT was actually the “game they needed to win.” Rarely was I concerned with wins and losses. MY CENTRAL CONCERN and point of interest and ANXIETY was EMBARRASSMENT. I did not want to see my kids get embarrassed. I equated the possibility of failing with them being embarrassed. I believe that this is what drives most parents in their interactions with their youth athletes.

THEN IT HIT ME…

What if I EMPOWERED, TRAINED AND TAUGHT THEM to UTILIZE these moments to GROW and STRENGTHEN?

What if I grew in my assurance that they were STRONG, RESILIENT, CREATIVE, and MENTALLY SKILLED?

THEN I COULD REST AND BE AT PEACE!!!

As a result, I created Stay In The Sport Zone!

Do you want to get a jump start on your MENTAL SKILL TRAINING?

Do you get confused about where to go to begin your training?

Do you want to learn from someone that has many years of experience coaching and training youth athletes to improve their mental skills?

If you answered yes to any or all of these questions then Stay In The Sport Zone is for you!

Stay In The Sport Zone is an online, non-threatening coaching program you can do in the privacy of your own home. I personally will lead you through (6) powerful mental skill teachings that will propel you forward in the pursuit of a STRONGER MIND!

Each video coaching module provides a step-by-step approach on how to build these vital sport-zone skills:

MODULE 1: Moving from Frustration to Fire
MODULE 2: Building Laser Focus
MODULE 3: Becoming Unshakably Confident
MODULE 4: Peak Performance Practice
MODULE 5: Powerless to Empowered
MODULE 6: Moving Beyond Your Fear of Failure

Here is what is being said about this program:

“This email is to THANK YOU for your great video series Stay in the Sport Zone, I spoke with you on what you offer athletes for working on building their mental skills. After hearing all the options we ended up going with the online “Stay in the Sport Zone” online program where my kids could work at their pace and even revisit different concepts.

I don’t think I could possibly convey to you in an email what a big difference, in a positive way, your online program made to my daughter this senior season of her high school career. It was pretty amazing! We’ve always thought she had many athletic tools but for the first time, I think EVER, she was a very composed and confident athlete even when she had a few minor set backs. It was such fun to watch her all season long and admire the personal growth she made. She made some big goals for herself…. and she accomplished them. Knowing this kid — this came down to her finding something she’d never had before and that was truly a mental edge. She ended up accomplishing LIFETIME best time in her event (by a lot, after 2 years of a plateau) and making individual All – State which was the biggest deal ever to her. She diligently and completely (on her own) used your program all season and grew as an athlete. It was obvious to me she connected with the concepts and used them to grow and enjoyed the process. She enjoyed her season so much she’s planning to continue in college.

Just want to say thank you for having that program available!!

It’s made a huge difference to a kid who has now wrapped up her high school career in a sport she has put so much time into, in the most positive outcome we could have hoped for. THANK YOU!”

Parent of a Stay In The Sport Zone Client

“Working with Shaun has been an incredible opportunity. I started meeting with Shaun as a freshman in high school, and little did I know that moment would change my life forever. I was ecstatic to begin my journey with Mental Edge and boost my athletic performance by working on my mental game. Shaun not only taught me strategies of how to become more mentally tough on court, but also how to be a supportive teammate and compassionate person. He’s by far one of the most incredible, kind, and generous people I’ve ever met and I’m lucky to have him in my life.”

Student Athlete

Go ahead and get registered for this life-changing video coaching and I’ll see you on the other side to get started!

Shaun





What If?

20 12 2016

We ask ourselves questions all the time. Most of these questions start with the word WHAT.

What If?

What If?

“What should I wear today?”

“What should I say when asked a question?”

“What should I eat?”

We also ask ourselves, “WHAT IF?”

This often leads us to a series of memories that plant us right in the past regretting something we did leading to feelings of inadequacy or shame. I find that the questions that we ask ourselves inevitably shape our perception, perspective and framework for experiencing life.

Questions aim our thinking, awareness and focus.

This morning, while doing my daily journaling, I decided to RIFT off of the the question “WHAT IF?” However, the substance of my “what if” was much different.

Here are some examples:

What if my fears are unfounded?

What if 10 seconds of courage in a relationship could transform it forever?

What if my beliefs about myself are mistaken?

What if my assumptions are unfounded?

These were just a couple of WHAT IF questions I posed to myself.

As I immersed myself in this wonderfully inspiring series of WHAT IF questions, I literally felt my energy, creativity and world of possibility open up. I found myself in the mental amusement park of possibility.

As I came out of the journaling session I couldn’t help but wonder… WHAT IF everyone could begin to see their lives through a powerfully constructed “WHAT IF?” What if we were surrounded by a community of WHAT IF people? What if a simple blog could challenge just one person to pose this question in a new and inspiring way?

Maybe you are currently experiencing a significant challenge yourself. “What if” you could see yourself with greater courage, strength, skills, or support? “What if” despite past experiences you could see yourself rising above your past and transform your life by cultivating a new perspective never before experienced? “What if” on this day, in this season, we all could take a couple of minutes a day and pose this question believing we have been given the gift of free will and the creative capacity and imagination to ask ourselves “WHAT IF?!!”

What is your “WHAT IF?”

Let me know in the comments below.

Merry Christmas,

Shaun





Struggle and Strength

21 11 2016

I think most of us would agree that increasing strength is a good thing. Athletes invest countless hours training for the purpose of increasing their strength.Theystrugglestrength do this because the rigors and challenges about to come REQUIRE ENHANCED STRENGTH to succeed. Without adequate strength they will be overwhelmed and out matched by the demands of the sport.

ATHLETES THAT TRAIN INADEQUATELY ARE ILL PREPARED FOR THE DEMANDS OF COMPETITION.

Physical strength is trained by utilizing resistance. I have never heard of an athlete that goes to the gym to train with AIR. Resistance is a CRITICAL element of strength building. However, if the resistance is not moved with correct form then INJURY can occur which has the exact opposite effect on the body. What initially was intended for BENEFIT has now become HURTFUL simply because of the use of IMPROPER FORM. The RESISTANCE is not the problem. The FORM is the variable that allows for injury.

Through the thousands of conversations and observations I have had with athletes and those around them, I have come to a DEEPLY HELD BELIEF AND OPINION:

The emotional, mental and social training our young people need to generate success will require a complete change in “FORM” with regard to STRUGGLE. It seems whenever the presence of struggle emerges we immediately seek to remove it, avoid it or numb it.

Struggle emerges when our life circumstances are not cooperating with our current psychological framework. Simply stated, this means that we are not getting what we want. This is similar to an athlete in the gym training and the trainer puts a certain amount of weight on the bar and the athlete wants to BARGAIN, COMPLAIN, NEGOTIATE, OR AVOID the work that is ahead. In life people face struggles almost everyday. Tests, homework, crazy drivers, parenting, relationships, conflict, money, etc… rarely does life put a manageable weight on the bar of our life.

It is by having GOOD FORM (Growth Mindset) while in the midst of these struggles that STRUGGLE becomes LEVERAGED or UTILIZED by us for increased strength, maturity, confidence, trust, competence to name a few. In my opinion it is VITAL THAT WE IMPROVE OUR FORM CONCERNING THE VALUE OF STRUGGLE IN THE LIVES OF OUR YOUNG PEOPLE. Rather than looking to change the WEIGHT (or eliminating it all together) we need to COACH young people to engage in proper form to LEVERAGE the struggle resulting in GREATER STRENGTH and MATURITY.

Learning the proper form is different than changing the weight. Take some time and think about how your life might be different if you were able to:

Learn how to UTILIZE and LEVERAGE your biggest challenges and turn them into your greatest assets!

Grow stronger and more confident by doing nothing more than re-inventing your PERSPECTIVE and APPRECIATION for the events, challenges and opportunities that are right in front of you.

Becoming EMPOWERED to EMBRACE challenges that have limited your expression of your best self.

Learning this skill and other mental strength skills are just some of the benefits of having a SKILLED and EXPERIENCED COACH in your life!

I’d love to hear YOUR current struggle and teach you how to leverage it into an asset.  Comment below and I’ll will personally answer you!

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Shaun





Mirrors of Greatness

13 09 2016

When people think of a mirror they think of a piece of glass that reflects the image that faces it. Mirrors can be useful because they reflect back Mirror Blogto us an image. Mirrors do not judge, have an opinion, talk back, or hate. Like most things when utilized for their intended purpose the value is high.

However, a mirror can be turned into a weapon of mass destruction because of the user. Many spend hours in front of a mirror shaming and hating on themselves because of the judgment and self-condemnation they generate from the image being reflected.

Let me offer a different way to think about a MIRROR.

Recently, I was mentoring a young soccer player. She just finished tryouts and I asked her to share a moment that stood out in her mind. She proceeded to vaguely tell me of a moment where she passed the ball to her teammate and that teammate scored. The initial description was lacking detail and it would have been easy to gloss over with a statement like “good job” or “that is cool.” After further discovery I learned that she had noticed the open player, put herself in a position to receive a pass by getting to an open space, executed a quality right-footed pass, and unselfishly shared the ball. My discovery revealed ELEMENTS OF GREATNESS that were NOT CLEAR in her first description. A more detailed description, uncovered through a more thorough exploration of what happened, made it possible to AMPLIFY and bring to her attention details within the event that put a spotlight on aspects of the play that could then be utilized in the future to reinforce her belief.

In essence, a deeper dive into what actually occurred provided an opportunity to mirror back to this young athlete ELEMENTS OF GREATNESS.

I believe we are all mirrors! The question is, WHAT ARE WE REFLECTING back to those in OUR LIVES? I believe those around us benefit when WE REFLECT truthful detailed images that empower learning and awareness. This is INFORMATION THAT CAN SPARK LEARNING and REINFORCE THE PROGRESSION towards enhancing performance and life.

Many athletes, coaches, parents, business owners, etc…… lack consistent images that help them deconstruct the elements of success. When success, as well as failure, are not clearly understood improvement and development are improbable. WE CAN MAKE A HUGE DIFFERENCE by committing to reflecting images that are descriptive and detailed to those that we want to influence.

The smile that emerged from this young athlete told the story of CONNECTING TO INFORMATION THAT GAVE CLARITY TO HER EXECUTED EXCELLENCE! We can all BE MIRRORS OF GREATNESS to others in our lives.

STEP 1, Explore, through the use of questions, details that describe the more detailed story within the moment.
STEP 2, Gain clarity by deconstructing a moment of success.
STEP 3, HIGHLIGHT vital skills, attributes, and execution points that contributed to success.
STEP 4, REPEAT OFTEN.

Reflecting with you,

Shaun

PS: After you do steps 1-4 comment below and let me know what happened!





Meeting the Confidence Challenge

17 08 2016

Who of us would not want a deep, bold and stable confidence?stencil.instagram-ad-original

Unfortunately, to many people the thought of possessing this type of confidence left long ago. It could be that a significant relationship with a coach, teacher, parent or friend sabotaged that dream. As a result we often tolerate, make excuses and position our lives to insure that we protect ourselves from a sense of failure or discouragement in order to never deal with our utter and complete lack of confidence.

For these reasons this is the day I invite you to engage in the CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE!

Simply stated I want to challenge you to PURSUE a more powerful and sustainable confidence.

For over 18 years I have been coaching thousands of athletes and without question when I ask, “What is the one thing you want to work on?” the response 90 percent of the time is “More CONFIDENCE!”

WHY ARE SO MANY OF US LACKING CONFIDENCE?

ANSWER

Because so many of us are TRADING COMFORT for CONFIDENCE.

It seems that comfort has become the desired lifestyle pursuit for many.

However, this trade is coming at a GREAT PRICE. The price is our CONFIDENCE IN OUR CAPACITY TO CREATIVELY and RESOURCEFULLY lean into challenges, obstacles, adversity, and uncertainty and learn of our untapped CAPACITY. If we are to establish and strengthen a DEEP ABIDING BELIEF in ourselves we MUST NOT ONLY MEET THESE CHALLENGES BUT EMBRACE THEM. There are not enough AFFIRMATIONS, POSITIVE THOUGHTS or WORDS OF ENCOURAGEMENT from others that can match the deep belief that forms when we FACE and grow through these natural life challenges.

The fear of failure is epidemic in today’s society.

Many of us parents get anxious about the possibility of our kids failing, so much so, that we put up barriers in the form of making excuses, nagging and over compensating to insure they WILL NOT EXPERIENCE FAILURE. This pattern robs young people the platform to embrace challenge, work through struggle and construct the framework for TRUE and ABIDING CONFIDENCE.

RESULT:

A COMPLETE AND UTTER LACK OF INTERNAL RESOURCES AND SKILLS TO MANAGE THE VERY ELEMENTS THAT WILL RESULT IN CONFIDENCE.

This is a challenge to embrace. Joyfully engage in the big and small challenges that life brings your way daily. The challenge of generating the motivation to get a workout in, to courageously put words to your experiences or simply give your best to something all while letting go of the FEAR OF FAILING will result in growing confidence.

When the possibility of disappointment, discouragement and failure exists this is where your greatest opportunity to learn and grow also exists.

Lets stop choosing the path of least resistance and start choosing the paths of GREATEST POSSIBILITIES. This is where the true treasure of deeply embedded confidence is found.

EMBRACE THE CONFIDENCE CHALLENGE TODAY!

Let us know your confidence challenges in the comments below!

You can find more resources at ShaunGoodsell.com





Starting is Half Done

14 06 2016

We all have aspirations to do GREAT things!!startingishalfdone

I can detail at least five different GREATNESS SEEKING visions I have been chasing. In fact, the still small voice within often torments me concerning the minimal, if any, progress I have made with regard to these worthy pursuits.

I believe there are countless NOBLE and GAME CHANGING VISIONS that have died on the seat of PROCRASTINATION. Have you ever wondered to yourself where your life would be if just one of these visions actually became reality? Have you ever taken the time to assess the OPPORTUNITIES and QUALITY of life LOSS that is simply the by product of the inability to muster the willpower, motivation or discipline to see these through to reality?

This is a very personal writing for me. I have battled with procrastination most of my life. One day as I was talking with a colleague about a project, he was courageous enough to give me the feedback that his level of trust in my ability to see this project through was small. When I asked him to expand on this idea he said, “Shaun you are creative, ambitious, and very good at what you do. However, very few of your ideas actually go from seed to tree.” Rather than this being a painful and personalized comment, I reflected and realized he was correct. Since that time I have learned three very powerful lessons and I’ll share them with you.

First, I am taking more time to test ideas within myself before I share them with others. In other words I want to make sure what I share is what I am committed to following through on. Often times I have haphazardly shared an impulsive idea believing at the moment that it was GREAT. I realized after testing the idea that it was more of a single cloud in the sky rather than the beginning of a thunderstorm of synergy.

Second, I have learned to share ideas with trusted advisors before taking the time to pour copious amounts of time and energy into them. These advisors are good at asking questions that reveal things that I may never think about. This forces me to flesh out the ideas in greater detail. This usually adds energy and motivation or completely strips it. Both are important.

Third, I have applied the STARTING IS HALF DONE principle. Most of the projects that draw me out and ask the most of me and demand me to grow, learn, and challenge myself. All of these dynamics erect walls of doubt, excuses and time management disasters. I now know that the greatest challenge is STARTING. When I was challenged to create a calendar of content to write about for 52 weeks I simply committed to coming up with ten. One hour later I had written 52. On days when energy seems scarce I start with putting on my workout clothes and STARTING. When writing scripts for on-line programs I write on one concept at a time. In each of these cases I am trying to stay present in what I know I can accomplish without getting in my own way before I even START. I hope this highlights the importance of SIMPLY STARTING.

Taking initial action sparks a wonderful cascade of creativity, energy and vision as well as, momentum towards an idealized vision. I have found that this also propels me forward with less effort.

If you have a number of visions, intentions, dreams, or aspirations that are on the proverbial shelf take some time and ask yourself these questions, “What if the GAME CHANGING IDEA, VISION, or INTENTION that is a GAME CHANGER is already present and right in front of me? What might happen if I simply STARTED and saw where it went from there.” You might be SHOCKED as to what vision becomes reality.

As for me, I am committed to becoming increasingly trustworthy with the inspired, creative and potentially game changing ideas and visions that are forming within. Join me in this worthy and powerful cause.

To take the first step in learning to “get started” in your daily life by reserving time with me to discover your High Performance Strategies!  Click here to schedule now!

Now is your time!

Shaun





Generating Purpose that Motivates

8 06 2016

purpose blogDiscovering purpose can be very challenging. This might be because we have a predetermined idea of what it means to have a purpose by generating an image of a hero like Martin Luther King, Gandhi or someone we have come to admire because of the mark they have made on the world and our lives. These people certainly lived with a purpose that drove them to commit their lives to their message.

For the sake of this article I would like to suggest that we can create many multiple applications of purpose. It doesn’t have to be an all-encompassing, immersive, commitment-rich passion we invest our entire lives in (although it could). What I am referring to is living each day and moment with an intention to BE PURPOSEFUL.

In other words, FULL OF PURPOSE.

This can be anything from meeting the challenges of our day believing that we will grow strength, resilience and a deep sense of confidence by doing so, or intentionally engaging in our routine tasks and responsibilities with a purpose we generate in the moment.

My point is that the power of purpose is not reserved only for the world’s leaders.

Living with daily intention and purpose is for ALL OF US regardless of what we are doing.

I LEARNED THIS POWERFULLY while I was in college. My freshman year my first day of class I met KEITH. Keith was the building maintenance manager (we referred to him as the janitor in my day). He made my day that first morning while cleaning a bathroom. He smiled at me and said, “God has big things in store for you. This is the first day of you uncovering what that looks like. Have a great day, Shaun”. He got to know hundreds of students by name. This encounter with a purpose-filled man has not been lost on me for over 30 years. In fact, I went to hours and hours of classes and cannot remember anything that rivals that strong of a memory.

Unfortunately, I believe that many live daily with little to no purpose because they are waiting for purpose to come upon them rather than committing to LIVE PURPOSELY and create it in the moment. The PURPOSE THAT MOTIVATES is the purpose that means something to you! That day 30 years ago Keith lived with purpose by deciding to make a difference in the life of a scared, unsure and overwhelmed freshman. Not only did he live this way that day but every time I witnessed him working I saw him do the same thing with other students all four years I was there. I came to realize later he had lived that way for 25 years.

Take the time each day to live in a manner that matters to you!

This is the secret to the purpose that motivates.

Take it from me I will forever be grateful for KEITH and his purposeful living.

To take the first step in learning to generate this type of purpose in your daily life, you can begin by  reserving time with Shaun to discover your High Performance Strategies!  Click here to start!

Now is your time!

Shaun